


sidekick

by commanderofraccoons



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, D slur, Double Date, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Mentions of Cady/Aaron, Mutual Pining, Underage Drinking, as a send off for ashley and tee, graphic description post-bus, happy trails!, in the dialogue from canon only, some senior year, we’re calling these two fetchen now btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 05:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18046112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderofraccoons/pseuds/commanderofraccoons
Summary: Regina did her own version of a nod and reached out her hand to grasp onto Gretchen’s. “Hey. Don’t do the shit I did, okay?”“What?”Her eyes checked the doorway quickly before trying to lean back into Gretchen. “Don’t do to Karen what I did to Janis.”orEverything through the eyes of Gretchen.





	sidekick

**Author's Note:**

> so i immediately started planning this fic as soon as ashley and tee announced their leaving dates. i wrote the outline that night and worked on it whenever i could for a month-- my plan was always to post this on march 10th as my own little way of coping. both of them play gretchen, so i figured this would be a nice little gesture. we always see what karen thinks about what's going on around her but never gretchen :) thanks everyone and remember not to be too sad today!

Gretchen would never understand Regina George.

 

She tried tirelessly every day, but she was getting closer to throwing in the towel. Celebrities online would say that she didn’t need anyone else’s approval to be happy, and even Karen would mumble something along the lines of that when Gretchen would cry to her.

 

But she was considered Regina’s best friend, and she’d be damned if they didn’t have the closest of Regina’s relationships. That never seemed to be the case, however, as Regina always pulled away from Gretchen and refused to truly spend any quality time with her. The time they _did_ spend together often ended in Regina’s temper rearing its ugly head and Gretchen sobbing to Karen over the phone later in the evening.

 

And Gretchen knew that Janis Sarkisian was a sensitive subject for her blonde friend, but she assumed that insulting her in Regina’s presence would help gain that approval she craved so badly. When they make fun of others together, it keeps the negative attention _off_ Gretchen, and she wondered if the guilt from wanting that would ever leave her.

 

“Janis Sarkisian, space dyke. _Oh,_ I forgot about that!” She plastered on a fake smile and held the page down with her pointer finger for the others to see the cut out yearbook picture. Karen was giving her a pointed look, and she refused to spare her a glance. No doubt she’d disapprove of Gretchen using _that_ word.

 

“Oh my god, she’s so weird.” Gretchen’s heart sped up at Regina’s agreement, and the tension in her shoulders relaxed just a bit. She’d happily deal with Karen’s sad eyes later. As long as Regina wasn’t upset with her.

 

Then, Regina went into a half-hearted fabricated version of the events in eighth grade, and the previous anxiety immediately returned. She could see Karen pretending to play with a piece of her hair, but the side eye she was occasionally sending Gretchen didn’t fool her. They both knew better than to question Regina, especially in front of other people. Cady was taking in the story with an odd sort of fascination, and maybe Gretchen should’ve figured something was off right then and there. Karen might’ve been able to guess if she wasn’t so focused on Gretchen.

 

Regina was still going on about not being able to invite Janis to her party because of an apparent limited guest list. Gretchen held back a scoff at the downright lie and flipped the page to Dawn Schweitzer’s entry. She hoped for Regina’s sake that Cady wouldn’t go digging for pictures of her thirteenth birthday party. They would all show most of their classmates lounging in the girl’s backyard and in her pool, along with some of the more well-known kids from other schools. The Georges had even surprised her with a new puppy, who Kylie ended up naming Gordy George. Not even he could wipe the frown off Regina’s face that day, though Gretchen could maybe assume the reason for that now.

 

Regina’s new version of the story didn’t even make sense. It didn’t explain the _space_ part of it in the slightest, and Gretchen quickly jumped to change the subject, hoping Cady wasn’t stupid enough to actually question Regina on the holes in her story.

 

Maybe Regina hadn’t really gone out of her way to particularly bother Janis when she eventually came back to school. In fact, she usually just let their class say whatever they wanted to her and avoided her at all costs. She refused to really bring her up, and sometimes Gretchen would even catch her staring at the art freak table when she thought no one was looking. Was she reading it all wrong? Did Regina regret what she did, or was this just a way to make herself look better?

 

Regina then took Karen into the bathroom for a makeover without her, Cady nervously crept out of the house, and Gretchen sat on the top of Regina’s bed by herself, glaring at the crudely cut picture of Janis— the words _Space Dyke_ written underneath it.

 

* * *

 

 

“Yeah, so you got my pic of the outfit I’m wearing tomorrow, right? But we said no to the matching shoes?” Gretchen shut her closet door, balancing her phone between her ear and her shoulder.

 

“Mhm,” Karen replied after a moment, and even over the phone, Gretchen could feel the blonde’s special type of anger aimed at her. She’d never directly say anything, but Gretchen wasn’t about to have Karen upset with her. Surviving Regina daily would be impossible without Karen by her side.

 

“Okay,” Gretchen relented, taking a seat on the ottoman in front of her bed. “What’s on your mind?”

 

She heard Karen sigh loudly through the receiver, and Gretchen stared at herself through the mirror on the right side of her room. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, and her makeup had been wiped clean; it’d been the reason she denied Karen’s original FaceTime request.

 

“Gretch,” she started, and the familiar nickname comforted her slightly. “Crying cat emoji.”

 

_Ah. Emoji talk._

 

It’d taken years for Gretchen to try and decipher Karen’s own language, and even now, she tended to struggle understanding it. She wasn’t sure what the difference between a regular crying emoji and a crying cat emoji would be, but she could get the gist of it.

 

“I know you were sad Regina wouldn’t let you in. We could hear you through the door.” _Oh_. She wasn’t expecting Karen to acknowledge that. In all honesty, she was hoping her mini breakdown wasn’t noticed by anyone except an extremely frightened Cady. “She just ignored it. I’m sorry.”

 

“That’s… okay. Thanks.”

 

“Are you okay?” She asked in a tone that sounded like she already knew the answer.

 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it. Your eyebrows look great, by the way! She did good work!” Karen, though sometimes incredibly flighty, would see right through her. She was more intuitive than people took her for, and she tended to take advantage of that. Gretchen had always been powerless to hide her true emotions from her, and this would be another one of those times.

 

“I don’t like when you use that word, and you know it.” Her voice had become much softer, and Gretchen imagined her face was contorted in the cutest puppy dog expression. “Especially after what I told you.”

 

She didn’t forget. Thinking about what Karen had told her always made her feel like something nasty was churning in the pit of her stomach. Gretchen dwelled on the thought often, but she could never tell the girl that. Lest she risk upsetting her again— this time probably seriously.

 

“I know. I’m sorry, but it was what was written in the book and Regina-“

 

“You should’ve just skipped her page or something. She was being really weird in the bathroom after.”

 

“Wait, really? Does it have to do with the bullshit story she told Cady about Janis? What _was_ that, anyway?” Gossiping about Regina. Trying to figure out the motives behind why she did anything. This was territory Gretchen was used to. She expected Karen to keep discussing what Gretchen had said, but she was grateful for the change of subject.

 

“Thinking emoji.” Gretchen smiled slightly, picturing the yellow face with the hand up against the chin. “I have some guesses.”

 

“Seriously?” She knew Karen would be able to figure something out. Sometimes she considered that Karen understood Regina better than she did, but it might’ve just been her exceptional observational skills. “What are they? And, like, everyone at school knows what actually happened. I mean, if Cady would even try _talking_ to Janis in her homeroom, then she’s gonna find out the truth. Why would Regina lie about it?”

 

“It’s not really for me to say.” Karen’s soft voice from before made its return, and Gretchen couldn’t help her immediate confusion. Karen shared _everything_ with her, the ugly thought from earlier making its way into her head again before she pushed it away. _Not now_.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” she echoed Gretchen’s own words, and she took that as a sign not to push it.

 

“Uh, so do you think Cady had fun today?” She questioned suddenly, honestly curious about Karen’s opinion. “And are you worried the Aaron thing is gonna blow up?”

 

“Hm, no. I think she got the point.”

 

Gretchen remembered Cady’s blatant questions about him during her panic earlier, and perhaps out of spite for Karen keeping something from her, she quieted her potential ramblings.

 

“But Cady was kinda freaked out today,” Karen admitted. “I think it was just too much for her.”

 

“Regina tends to do that to people…” She trailed off, and the silence on the other line was telling.

 

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Karen repeated, and a large part of Gretchen wanted to tell her the truth. How badly her self-worth has diminished because of Regina’s belittling words and actions. Instead of growing a thicker skin, Gretchen seemed to be doing the exact opposite. She was allowing it to bother her even more, and she wasn’t sure if even Karen’s sweet presence would be able to make up for it. It’s not like her friend didn’t know all of this already; she saw the effects of it on her every day. She just wouldn’t say anything unless she confirmed it for her.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” The lie stung. “But remember for tomorrow that we’re not doing the matching shoes, okay?”

 

“Feel better, Gretch.” She sounded defeated, ignoring Gretchen’s question, and the sound of her voice made her feel even worse than before. “Love you.”

 

She did smile at that, though, grasping her phone with her left hand from between her shoulder. “Love you too.” Gretchen hung up quickly after that, not wanting to wait and see if Karen said anything else. Her background lit up at the end of the call, and ignoring the several notifications on the screen, she could make out the picture of the three of them behind the messages. They were all smiling brightly, and though Gretchen couldn’t exactly remember the day, she vaguely remembered going home in tears after school because of something Regina-related.

 

Gretchen stood from her ottoman, leaving the phone facing up on the cushion. She turned away and decided then that she’d need a new one with Cady in it. Only this time she was determined it wouldn’t end in anyone crying.

 

* * *

 

 

“No. Don’t like it. Unzip me.”

 

Gretchen worked sometimes like she was on speed, at least that’s what all her high school report cards seemed to try indicating. Her movements tended to become faster when given a command, especially when that command came from specific people. Regina, being at the top of her list of people, simply expected Gretchen to follow everything she said, and Gretchen was all too happy to follow through.

 

“Did you have anything good for me this time? And I don’t mean any of that Marwan Jitla being caught masturbating in the locker room bullshit, either. _Actual_ gossip that isn’t just already assumed.”

 

“Oh, um,” Gretchen stuttered, brainstorming for one of the stories she’d caught wind of that week. A lot of them ran together or involved people Regina didn’t care to hear about; it wasn’t easy to find gossip that kept her interest. Then, she remembered the secret Karen had sworn to her to keep. Her gut clenched again-- this time more out of guilt than anything-- and she made a decision. “Well, there’s Karen.”

 

“Our Karen?” Regina frowned, roughly yanking the skirt material from her legs. “Give me that.” She motioned to the rumpled up puddle of pink on the floor, and Gretchen made quick work to hand it over to her. “What’d she do now?”

 

Gretchen pulled on the zipper with little force, and the skirt, which Regina had already tried on twice today, fit snugly on the top of her hips. “So she’s up to eleven now.”

 

Regina snorted with a hint of derision, a cruel smile playing on her lips. “Oh, yeah? Who’s the lucky middle-aged man now? Does this one have a wife again?”

 

“Actually,” she paused, smoothing down the wrinkles on the side of the fabric. “It was with a girl.”

 

Regina stopped, staring at the reflection in the mirror as if it insulted her. Gretchen felt herself hold her breath, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Regina’s reaction was at all similar to Gretchen’s. It wasn’t that she was _disgusted_ or anything, but Karen had been with a _girl_ , and Gretchen’s a _girl_ \-- why didn’t she pick h- _No,_ she inwardly scolded herself for the umpteenth time, _not that again_.

 

Telling Regina this secret was, frankly, terrible, and the person that came to mind was Janis Sarkisian. How was what she just did different than what Regina did to Janis? Would telling Regina this cause her to do the same thing to Karen?

 

_How stupid could you be? Now you’re never gonna be around Karen. She’ll be forced to sit at the art freak table, or maybe even transfer schools, and now you’ve lost the only person who actually cares-_

 

“Why would you tell me that?”

 

Gretchen blinked, and she noticed Regina’s anger had faded away into confusion. For the first time that evening, she was looking directly at Gretchen, giving her the full attention she usually begged for. All she wanted now was to hide from it.

 

“Thought you would wanna know.” Her voice was noticeably trembling, and she was sure Regina would pick up on it.

 

“She told you this?” Regina turned, crossing her arms over her chest, and Gretchen considered sprinting from the girl’s house.

 

“I guess it happened during the summer, yeah.”

 

“Was it someone in our class?”

 

“She didn’t tell me, but maybe? I don’t know.” Words were building up in her throat, and she wasn’t sure she could stop them. “I guess there’s Sonja, I heard Grace is, and of course maybe with Janis-”

 

“Oh, _Jesus_ , Gretchen, shut up.” Regina turned away from her, and Karen’s warning about mentioning Janis resounded in her head. The blonde was pulling something else out of her closet, and her body language seemed more tense now than it was before. “Don’t be a dick and spread that around.”

 

“But I thought, y’know, your past with Janis, like, that you’d wanna know if Karen was-”

 

“Wait.” She stopped rifling through the hanging clothes but stayed facing them. “You think this is similar to what happened with _Janis_?”

 

“Yeah! I mean, Karen’s our friend, and she’s literally sleeping with girls. Isn’t that-“

 

“No.” She shoved an old-looking sweater roughly down the rack, its hanger threatening to jump off and fall to the floor. “Just drop it, Gretchen.” A blue dress shirt followed the same pattern, and her aggressive motions were as if the clothes had personally offended her.

 

Or maybe Gretchen had.

 

“Uh, okay, so-”

 

“And what I said to Cady sticks. If she starts wanting to talk to Janis in her homeroom or something, just tell her she’s a freak.” Regina grabbed the blue shirt-- apparently no longer frustrated with it-- and turned back to Gretchen. “Otherwise, just don’t bring it up. She doesn’t need to know shit, anyway.” She was back to facing Gretchen, at least, but her eyes never left the pleated blue fabric.

 

“I’ll- yeah, I’ll let Karen know.” She breathed a sigh of relief at actually getting a sentence in edgewise.

 

“Do that because I don’t have the patience. It takes her too long to actually understand anything.” Regina finally looked away from the material, balling it up under her left arm and pulling the hanger away. “You want this? It’s ugly.”

 

“N-no, that’s-”

 

“Put it in your purse.” She suddenly threw the shirt toward her, and Gretchen barely caught it before it could hit the ground. “You should wear it for that party this weekend.” Regina motioned to Gretchen’s chest, where she was currently holding the wrinkled fabric. “It’s tight enough to show that you have tits.”

 

She could hear the unspoken warning about not letting it hug her stomach.

 

Regina was then off to another section of her walk-in closet and out of Gretchen’s sight. She stood there, humiliated, with the blue shirt pressed protectively in front of her. It _was_ ugly, and she doubted the size would even fit her. With a quick glance at the tag, Gretchen surmised that it was too small for even Regina’s frame. Of course she wouldn’t gift her something she would actually want-- no, this was purely to mock her. Gretchen gave and gave and _gave_ , and she never received validation. Wasn’t that what everyone secretly wanted? Even Regina needed validation, didn’t she?

 

Standing there holding that pleated shirt made her understand an inkling of Karen’s perspective. Why was she so hellbent on gaining Regina’s approval? Why did it have to be most complicated person she knew? She was perfectly comfortable with Karen-- Karen never would make her feel like this and would even go out of her way to comfort Gretchen.

 

Karen, whose secret she just spilled in an attempt to impress Regina. Not only was Regina not impressed with how much gossip she knew, but she seemed aggravated with her for what she said. She’d have to unpack all of this later, though she wouldn’t get Karen’s special insight this time.

 

Swallowing harshly, she folded the shirt neatly and decided she’d put it in her purse. It was what Regina wanted.

 

* * *

 

Regina was gone, and Cady had sprouted up in her place.

 

It’d been Gretchen’s idea to even have the party in the first place. She set it up for Aaron to be there, knowing how obsessed with him the girl was. Regina certainly never gave him this kind of attention, anyway.

 

“Is this room moving?”

 

Gretchen chuckled, her heels falling to the floor as Karen basically fell on top of her back. Cady’s bed seemed a lot smaller-- and firmer-- than her own, but Gretchen couldn’t find it in herself to push Karen completely off her.

 

“No, babe, that’s in your head.” Gretchen was completely on her stomach now, but her feet were dangling from the other side. “Ow, your elbow’s in my kidney.”

 

“I don’t think that’s where your kidney is,” Karen mumbled, rolling off Gretchen and onto her back.

 

“Wonder if Cady’s making out with Aaron... _Ew_ , or if they did it up here.”

 

Karen made a noise but didn’t respond any further. They laid there in complete silence, the muffled music from below as the only reprieve. Her eyes were shut, and the bright images playing behind her eyelids brought back the same nausea from before the oven incident.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

They were both definitely drunk, but Karen’s tone was much more sobering than she was letting on.

 

“You don’t have to hold back my hair if I puke again, no. Sorry about your jacket.”

 

“No, Gretch, not that.” She rolled onto her side again, resting her arm over Gretchen’s waist. “I meant to ask you a few weeks ago.”

 

“Hm?”

 

She hesitated, and Gretchen thought she was going to pull her arm back for a moment. “You told Regina the number.” She could tell she was frowning. “Did you tell her…” Karen trailed off, but the unspoken question hung in the air.

 

The weight of Karen’s arm suddenly felt much heavier, and Gretchen slowly opened her eyes.

 

“What do you wanna hear?”

 

She heard Karen sigh from behind her, and Gretchen fought the urge to close her eyes at the sound. Shifting her legs, she turned to the other side but couldn’t meet the girl’s gaze.

 

“Are you mad?”

 

Karen laughed, surprising her, and reached her arm to the small of Gretchen’s back, pulling her in closer. “You know I don’t get mad. And I know why you did it.”

 

“I’m sorry, Kare.” She reached a hand up to play with the ends of the girl’s hair. “At least we don’t have to worry about her anymore.”

 

Karen, ever the picture of happiness, smiled, though the light didn’t seem to reach her eyes. If Gretchen hadn’t been too far gone, she would’ve realized it.

 

“You’re doing the same thing with Cady.”

 

She didn’t have the decency to reply to that.

 

* * *

 

 

Karen’s intuition was usually correct, and Gretchen only wished it would’ve been true this time.

 

Copies of Burn Book pages littered the hallways, their classmates were attacking each other over the contents of them, and Gretchen was seated in Duvall’s office, flanked by both Karen and Cady. Somehow, and she knew exactly how it happened, the actual Burn Book had been brought into the school and had been given to the faculty.

 

The copies were a nice touch, she had to admit. Turn the rest of the school against them, even if Regina was the one to write the majority of the words in it.

 

The events afterward were a blur, however, after Principal Duvall stopped the fighting. They’d been forced into the gymnasium and given exercises to do with one another. It started decently but quickly went downhill with Karen’s public apology. Gretchen froze up as everyone turned to stare at her, and the anxiety she’d been hiding manifested itself in her body language. She deserved it, of course, after what she revealed about her. Still, she could hear Regina snickering to her left, and if she had any semblance of fight in her, she would’ve said something.

 

Then, Janis took the stage, and Regina wasted no time in taking a dig at her. Karen snuck a glance at Gretchen, and her analysis suddenly made sense. Her defensive attitude whenever Janis was brought up was excessive and went above and beyond her usual behavior. The girl set something off in her, and Gretchen wasn’t sure if it had to do with their close past or not.

 

Janis, seemingly having enough of Regina, decided to reveal that Cady was, in fact, never their friend and was working with her to get revenge on them the entire time. If Gretchen wasn’t so surprised herself, she would’ve taken some satisfaction in the complete disbelief in Regina’s features. Karen— who rarely showed negative emotions as long as Gretchen had known her— was frowning, and her eyes looked like she was watching a tennis match.

 

It escalated, and before Gretchen knew it, they were rushing outside of the building after both Cady and Regina. She remembered how vividly it all happened, despite being several hundred yards away. Karen’s arm was linked with hers, and as the blur of yellow flew past, Gretchen heard a horrible gasp come from her side.

 

The next few minutes seemed like something out of an action movie. Though everyone in their class had been prepared to exile Regina only moments before, they all were hysterical now. Some of them had run back into the school, others had crept closer but refused to offer any help, and a few had actually managed to get a hold of an ambulance when they noticed Regina was still alive.

 

Barely.

 

After the bus hit, Regina was unmoving, and her mother’s piercing scream from across the street resounded in the air. Gretchen pulled her arm from Karen’s and met Mrs. George in the middle of the road, pushing Cady out of the way to get there. Whether they were still friends or not, Gretchen felt like she needed to be there for this, even if Regina wouldn’t want her to be. From the footsteps coming from behind her, she could only assume Karen had followed.

 

She stood over Regina, while her mother attempted to wake her, too afraid to actually touch her. There was blood covering some parts of her skin, though there didn’t seem to be a visible wound. Only a few seconds after Gretchen arrived did Regina come to, at least for a few minutes. Her eyes lazily opened, unfocused, and as she tried to take in what was happening above her, she began to loudly wail. The pain she was feeling must’ve hit at once, and Gretchen was unsure of how to comfort her. In all the time that she’d known Regina, she’d never seen her cry, and her mother didn’t seem to be in a much better position with it. Mrs. George looked more shocked than anything as Regina shrieked helplessly, unable to really move her lower limbs.

 

It didn’t last long, however, as Regina passed out soon after. The pain must’ve been too unbearable for her body to take consciously, and Gretchen started to breathe a little easier at the sound of an ambulance finally speeding down the street. She backed away, Regina’s mother sobbing into the girl’s chest, and Gretchen bumped into someone behind her.

 

She turned, only to see a teary-eyed Karen, who immediately embraced her. Gretchen breathed into the hug and rested her head against her shoulder, and the racking of her frame made Gretchen squeeze her just a bit tighter.

 

Cady was standing close by but seemed at a loss for what exactly to do. Gretchen almost felt bad for her, really. She’d lost everything over the course of the year, and she wasn’t likely to get it back any time soon. Near the entrance to the building stood a figure in a blue hoodie with their arms wrapped around a shell shocked Janis. The girls carrying her must’ve put her down after the incident, and Gretchen couldn’t help but imagine how she must be feeling right now.

 

There was still a lot to unpack from just the last few hours alone, and though Regina’s current state obviously took the cake, Janis’s stunned expression would be mentioned to Karen later. Maybe she could fill in some of the blanks for her.

 

* * *

 

 

The stuffed bear Karen was holding was only a little smaller than her body. Regina’s nurse had visibly brightened at the sight of her attempting to carry it through the hall, but she made no offer to help. Though Gretchen’s arms were full of flower bouquets, she held up the right paw with her elbow as they shuffled toward Regina’s doorway. She knew they looked comical, but the room’s inhabitant surely wouldn’t share that same humor.

 

Regina was angled slightly in her bed, spinal halo still firmly in place. Her eyes were closed, though she doubted she was actually asleep.

 

“We brought you more things!” Karen exclaimed a little too loudly for the setting, dropping the massive bear onto one of the visitor chairs. The room was covered in all sorts of get well presents, some even from the local news station that covered the story. Gretchen left the two bouquets on an empty corner of the table, and she only hoped Regina’s mother would find more vases for them. She supposed the more people feared you, the more gifts you were given. “Do you like them?”

 

Regina’s eyes had opened now, peering between Gretchen and Karen. She remained still, though Gretchen figured that had more to do with her inability to fully move without someone else’s assistance. “Another bear?”

 

“Yeah, but this one’s life-sized!” Karen plopped herself down on the bed, and Gretchen felt a sympathy twinge at Regina’s wince.

 

“Thanks, Karen. I love it.” Her tone was a little lackluster, but the soft smile she was giving them offset it. On each of their visits, Regina hadn’t lashed out at either one of the them. Due to Gretchen’s eavesdropping skills, she also overhead that Regina’s mother had been being treated better, too. The pain killers had to be the primary cause for this, but she was holding out hope that getting hit by a bus might’ve positively changed the girl’s personality.

 

“Your bruises are starting to heal.” Gretchen took a step toward the bed, fighting the urge to rest her hand against Regina’s discolored temple. She wasn’t comfortable doing that yet.

 

“You can say I look like shit, Gretch, I know.” The words might’ve previously been meant as an insult, but the smile on her face and slight joking tone threw her off.

 

“You look better than I would if I got hit by a bus.” Karen spoke up her own compliment from the bottom of the bed, but she was too busy fiddling with the mattress remote to meet their gazes.

 

“Could you, uh, grab that from her?” Regina mumbled to Gretchen, worry more present on her face now. “Last thing I need is more of a broken back because she hit the wrong button.”

 

“Oh! Yeah, sorry.” She reached for the wire, gently pulling it away from Karen’s hands. “Babe, you shouldn’t mess with that.” Karen seemed to realize her mistake immediately, smiling up at Regina with a sheepish look.

 

“Are you guys together?”

 

Gretchen snapped her head to Regina quickly, her eyes widening as the bold question registered. It didn’t sound accusatory, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything.

 

“Did I read that wrong?” Gretchen turned to see a confused Karen staring ahead at Regina. They both must’ve been too nervous to actually reply, but Regina remained undeterred. “If you are, it’s okay.” Regina’s previous worry returned, though it most likely wasn’t because of her back this time. “Like I don’t care. I mean, I _care_ , just not, like, about _that._  Or whatever.”

 

“What about what you said to Janis in the gym?” Karen asked. “How’s that different?”

 

Regina hesitated, and Gretchen suspected she wouldn’t have answered if she wasn’t on such a high dose of pain medication. “It’s really complicated with Janis. We’ve both kinda let things go too far.” She attempted a shrug, but the spinal halo got in the way. “Actually,” she started, sounding a bit unsure of herself. “Could you guys do me a favor?”

 

She exchanged glances with Karen but said nothing.

 

“Could you maybe, like, ask her to come see me?”

 

Gretchen blinked several times, but that was the last request she expected Regina to have.

 

“Is that a good idea?” Gretchen found her voice again, and it only took her a moment to realize that she was actually questioning Regina. The girl didn’t seem angry, however, as if she was expecting it.

 

“Well, I would’ve just waited to talk to her, but she actually sent a really nice card.” She pointed over to her nightstand, which had envelopes of all sizes stacked on it. There was one card, though, that was propped open and sitting atop all of them. Gretchen didn’t read the lengthy note inside, but she could make out a large _J_ at the start of the signature on the bottom. “She sent a separate one from her and her mom, too.”

 

“Why would she-“

 

“Wait, don’t read it, please.” She tried to position herself differently on the bed, and Gretchen slowly backed away from the nightstand. “I was gonna text her, but I’m not sure if her number’s still the same. If you could just, like, tell her I asked about her… that I liked the card, too.”

 

“Why would she listen to us?”

 

Regina smiled sadly. “Anyone would be better than me, right?”

 

The nurse knocked on the door then, dragging along a computer on wheels behind her. “Sorry, girls, she needs her bandages changed and some more medication.” She left the room before any of them could respond, presumably to let them say goodbye.

 

“We’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” Karen grinned, wrapping her arms around Regina’s stiff figure. Regina attempted to return it, but Karen was pulling away before she could.

 

Gretchen stepped forward, resting her hand on the mattress near Regina’s. “Are you planning on apologizing to Janis?” Regina’s eyes were looking over Gretchen’s shoulder, likely watching Karen get too bored to stay in the room.

 

“Yeah, I need to.”

 

“If she sent that, then maybe she won’t need a lot of convincing.”

 

Regina did her own version of a nod and reached out her hand to grasp onto Gretchen’s. “Hey. Don’t do the shit I did, okay?”

 

“What?”

 

Her eyes checked the doorway quickly before trying to lean back into Gretchen. “Don’t do to Karen what I did to Janis.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

She managed an eye roll and let go of her hand. “Tell her you like her and stop pushing her away.”

 

“Wait, is that what you did t-“

 

“ _Just_ ,” she hissed out, temper returning to normal now. _Her medication really must be overdue._ “Stop trying to hold in how _gay_ you are for her. She very much likes you too, but you’re sending her mixed signals.”

 

“I’m confu-“

 

“No, you’re _not_ ,” Regina interrupted, getting more worked up by the minute. “What you would do was purposely bring up Janis, or gay people in general, or whatever, for your own masochistic purposes. You’d do it to see if I’d agree with you, and you’d hurt Karen’s feelings in the process.”

 

She stayed silent, breaths coming much heavier now than they did before. There was no real way to respond to that. Regina was right; Gretchen was stuck in this sort of cycle of trying to impress Regina that would end up hurting everyone around her. She understood why those comments would hurt Karen, but why _Regina_?

 

“And I found out it definitely wasn’t Janis who Karen slept with,” she added, relaxing back into her pillows. “So I guess there’s that.”

 

Then it clicked. Karen’s guess about Regina that she couldn’t share, her defensive attitude about Janis, keeping the girl’s card above everyone else’s near her bed, asking to see her again.

 

“You were jealous,” she breathed. “When you thought she might’ve slept with Janis.”

 

“Weren’t you? When you thought Karen might’ve slept with her?”

 

They tension in the room was palpable, as they both just revealed secrets to each other that they did not plan on sharing. It did make sense, though. And maybe it did for Gretchen, too.

 

“Like I said,” Regina continued, eyes locked with Gretchen’s. “You still have a chance with her. Don’t leave it until it’s hanging by a thread.”

 

It was obvious that she meant her situation with Janis, and though she wasn’t sure how they would turn out, the girl’s reaction to the bus might mean that there’s still something left there. The card was telling, too. Maybe they wouldn’t be too late.

 

“Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”

 

“You should probably go get Karen now. I can see her trying to rip fliers off the wall out there.”

 

“Oh, uh, thanks.” She chanced a look behind her to see Karen reaching for a fluorescent piece of paper on a bulletin board in the hallway. “For everything.” Gretchen, slowly walking backwards from the bed, turned to Regina. “Let me make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. We’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

“Cool. Bring me something edible. Hospital food blows.” Regina tried relaxing into the bed, her usual bored tone seeping back into her voice.

 

Gretchen chuckled, offered one last wave, and pulled Karen away from the tacks she was trying to grab.

 

 

* * *

 

She never expected to win Spring Fling queen. Maybe she didn’t think Regina would win for the third year in a row, especially considering recent events, but Gretchen had no expectations to leave with any part of the crown.

 

Turns out Regina did leave with the crown, but most of their class left with bits of it, too. Cady won queen, despite being banned from the event, and decided to actually make a speech to North Shore as a whole. It felt like something actually resonated with them for once, and the rest of the night went smoothly. People from all friend groups intermingled with one another, and something just felt… different. Like Cady had cracked some enormous code.

 

Of course Gretchen wasn’t naive enough to believe that it would last-- not to this extent, anyway. They wouldn’t all be best friends on Monday morning, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t start respecting each other. She wasn’t sure how Cady did it, but she was grateful.

 

“I think I’m gonna head out,” Regina sighed, her crown piece peeking out from between her cleavage. “All this hugging is making my back hurt.”

 

“You sure that wasn’t the dancing?” Karen questioned from beside her, a cheeky smile on her face.

 

“Shut up,” Regina rebutted with no real malice in her tone. “I shouldn’t leave my ride waiting, anyway.”

 

“Your mom’s already here?”

 

“Oh, no, she decided to stay home.” She moved her clutch to her other hand. “Kylie and her puny little friends are having a sleepover, and I don’t think she trusts them enough to leave them there with just my dad.”

 

“Then who’s bringing you home?” Karen’s head tilted to the side, looking very much like a small puppy.

 

“Uh,” Regina stopped, seemingly meeting someone’s gaze across the room. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Karen, apparently unsatisfied with the answer, turned her back and stood on her tiptoes to see who she was staring at. “Oh, Janis? That’s so sweet!”

 

“Wh- Karen! Seriously?” Regina’s face had become noticeably redder, and she was fidgeting with the clasp on her clutch. “I mean, she offered, and, like, it’s on the way.”

 

“You guys talked?” Gretchen moved closer to Regina, keeping her voice low enough for just the three of them to hear. She felt her eyebrows move up and down involuntarily, and if Regina weren’t so stiff, she knew she would’ve gotten an elbow to the stomach. The girl had offered her own apology to both of them shortly after Cady’s speech, and though she suspected they’d still have more to discuss, there was a certain level of normalcy back among them.  

 

“Yeah, we did. It’s fine. We’re working on it.” She waved them off, starting to inch away. “I’ll text you guys when I get home, okay?”

 

“Bye, Regina! Love you!” Karen smiled widely, emphatically waving her right hand at the girl’s retreating figure. Regina slipped through the crowd briskly, especially for someone with a fractured spine. Gretchen waved, too, but stayed on her toes in case someone knocked Regina over.

 

Regina’s earlier apology took her by surprise, maybe more than Cady breaking the Spring Fling crown into pieces and throwing them into a crowd of their classmates. It was relieving to hear, even if Regina had already given a pain medication-induced version from her hospital bed. Gretchen doubted she remembered, but her desire for validation wouldn’t be forgetting it any time soon. She only hoped her friend’s former behavior wouldn’t return.

 

“I saw them both leave the bathroom together.” Karen was in front of her now, unwavering grin still on display. “That talk must’ve gone well.”

 

“That’s what you were always trying to say? That she had feelings for Janis?” Gretchen questioned, taking a step closer to Karen. Whether the entire school was on happy juice or not, she wouldn’t put it past someone overhearing to use what she was saying as blackmail.

 

“It’s obvious. Well,” She shrugged. “It was to me.”

 

“Yeah, you’re good at that.” Gretchen let out a short laugh, nervousness suddenly overtaking her. The rest of their friends were either gone or busy, and she was just now realizing her proximity to Karen.

 

Regina’s words to her from her hospital bed ran through her head for a moment, and she was left with a decision. If Regina—with her tumultuous Janis backstory— could take a step in the right direction, then so could Gretchen. She was finally in a good place with Karen again, and after Regina had knocked some sense into her, maybe she was finally ready.

 

Karen was still directly in front of her, except her head was turned toward the dance floor. Her expression radiated her usual happiness, and Gretchen just… it was just _so_ endearing. Most people wouldn’t be able to spend extended time with Karen; it’d drive them insane. But Karen was the best reprieve possible for Gretchen. She worried herself sick most times, while she wasn’t sure Karen had actually worried about anything in her life. They were such complimenting opposites— she had no idea what it’d be like to actually be without her.

 

“Hey, Kare?”

 

Her head snapped back to her immediately, almost as if she were expecting it. “Hm?”

 

Gretchen held out her left hand, willing herself to keep it steady. Karen placed her own hand in hers, unknowingly giving Gretchen the strength she needed to keep going.

 

“Do you wanna dance?”

 

Karen smiled even wider, and Gretchen squeezed her hand in response.

 

* * *

 

**One year later**

 

Gretchen, fighting back a smile, gently pulled the liquor menu from between a sheepish Karen’s fingers. “This place isn’t gonna accept your fake ID, babe.”

 

She pouted. “Then text Regina and ask when they’re gonna be here before I flash the bartender.”

 

“Please don’t flash anyone.” Janis snorted, sliding into the booth opposite of them. “You’re the ones who wanted to double for a dinner date.” She picked up the food menu from the top of the table, barely sparing the two of them a glance. “Regina went to park. She’ll probably be here in a min-“

 

“Talking about me?” Regina, twirling her car keys on her pointer finger, appeared in the same manner Janis did. She shot a baffled Gretchen and Karen a small smile before making herself comfortable in the booth as well. “You guys look cute.” Regina nodded to the two across from her and distractedly picked up her own menu.

 

“I guess they’re here,” Karen mumbled to her, and Gretchen held back her laugh.

 

Regina had spent almost an entire year working on her relationship with Janis, although it wasn’t until more recently that they started officially dating. It had to take time, she knew, but Gretchen could tell that the long effort was worth it to Regina. Her personality, while still very much intact, had improved tremendously. She never would’ve given offhanded compliments to them like that.

 

“Before we do anything, how are we paying?” Regina asked, curiously staring at them from over the laminated menu. “Everyone separately? I’ll pay for me and Janis, and you and Karen can do whatever?”

 

“No, you don’t need to pay for me.” Janis finally put the menu down and nudged Regina lightly in the side. Despite the words, her expression didn’t seem too worried about it at all.

 

“You’re paying, right?” Karen stage whispered into Gretchen’s ear, earning chuckles from both Regina and Janis.

 

“Well, I guess Gretchen and I are gonna be paying for our girls, then.” Regina smugly announced, and Janis nudged her again, only causing her smirk to grow. “More importantly, what are we all eating?”

 

“That is genuinely all you think about,” Janis snarked back, slouching back down into the booth. “Among some other things,” she added, and Regina’s cheeks reddened at her words.

 

“Why didn’t we invite Cady and Aaron?” Karen questioned, and Gretchen, in that moment, couldn’t have been more grateful for her girlfriend’s lack of understanding with social cues. Only she could’ve smoothly changed the subject away from _that_.

 

“Well, it’s the weekend, so she’s probably up at Northwestern with him, right?” Regina directed the final part at Janis, who nodded.

 

“I doubt we could’ve pried them apart long enough for a dinner.” Gretchen giggles, resting her head on Karen’s shoulder.

 

“Plus it’s a little awkward,” Regina admitted, watching the two of them with almost a fond expression. “I mean, we’re friends and everything. We hang out fine when we’re in a group together. But a triple date’s probably pushing it.” She shrugged.

 

“Because you dated Aaron twice and used him as a beard both times? And the second time was also just to mess with Cady because you knew she liked him?” Karen asked, completely serious, and Gretchen fought the urge to bury her face in the girl’s neck.

 

“Yeah, Karen. That’s why.” Janis, still sitting back in the booth, smiled unabashedly.

 

“Could I get you girls some drinks? Are you ready to order?” A petite waitress holding a tattered notepad stepped up to their table, and Gretchen quickly lifted her head up from Karen’s shoulder.

 

“Jesus Christ,” Regina attempted to mumble, though Gretchen was pretty sure the tables across the room heard her. She was lightly massaging her temples now, and if this were a year ago, Gretchen would’ve revelled in an embarrassed Regina. “Just a water.”

 

The waitress made quick work to write Regina’s order down, along with everyone else’s. Gretchen almost expected Regina to comment on each of the foods they ordered, but it was a true sign of change when the girl didn’t even make a face while she was talking. She seemed a bit too taken with Janis to even notice, actually.

 

Janis slyly went to hold hands with Regina underneath the table, and Gretchen felt compelled to do the same with Karen but hesitated. They tended to show a little more affection in public than Janis and Regina, though that was mostly attributed to Karen’s touchy nature.

 

They continued to talk throughout the duration of the dinner— with only a few minor social blips. The entire time, however, Janis and Regina’s hands remained intertwined. Gretchen expected them to break it when their food came, but all that painting must’ve made Janis ambidextrous. She tried not to think of what _else_ could’ve done it, anyway.

 

When Regina decided to order herself a large sundae for dessert, Gretchen took the plunge to intertwine her hand with Karen’s, directly paralleling Janis and Regina under the table. It wasn’t that she was afraid to show contact with Karen— she definitely wasn’t— but it felt oddly intimate, the four of them all together like this. They were leaps and bounds away from how they were this time time last year.

 

Janis, working with both friend groups, managed to shed some of her defensive skin, opening herself up a little more. She’d forgiven Regina-- that had been one hell of a process-- and seemed much happier now than she was. Her days no longer consisted of hiding away in the art room at school and avoiding social gatherings whenever possible, though she would say that wasn’t a positive change.

 

Karen had remained steadfast, still a bright light for everyone. Now that the Plastics began mingling more, specifically with Janis and Damian, she had more people to befriend. She naturally flocked to others, and she undoubtedly was happier now with so many other people around to spend time with.

 

Regina, of course, had undergone the most change out of anyone. It wasn’t like she’d lost what made her _Regina_ _George_ , but she had mellowed dramatically, and a lot of that had to do with Janis. Still, Janis wasn’t the only factor in it, and her relationship with Gretchen had improved more than either of them thought it would. She seemed to understand how deeply she was hurting Gretchen with her actions, and the immediate behavioral change helped her heal more than Regina would ever know.

 

And Gretchen had freed herself from the supposed cycle she was trapped in. No longer did she go against her own interests for Regina’s approval. She didn’t _need_ Regina’s approval— or anyone’s for that matter. Instead, she got the girl’s genuine friendship, and the similarities between them was what brought them closer.

 

She squeezed Karen’s hand lightly, meeting Regina’s gaze from across the table. It was almost analytical, the way she was staring at her, but her face softened considerably when they made eye contact. A small smile was creeping onto her face, and Gretchen felt her own lips lift in response.

 

Maybe she didn’t entirely understand Regina George, and maybe she never would, but the unpredictability kept Gretchen on her toes. It kept their friendship fresh, and she definitely was never bored. She thought she needed a better friend, and maybe that was true, but Regina slowly became the friend she needed. The one to break her out of that ugly pattern. They had both been a great help to each other, whether they realized the depth of how much or not. Regina was a lot more tolerable to be around now and was no longer living a lie. Gretchen’s anxiety had lessened considerably, and her need for validation didn’t peek its head out nearly as much.

 

There, holding the hands of the girlfriends they never thought they’d have, Gretchen and Regina smiled at each other, and even though it’d been an entire year, it felt like girl world was finally at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me: kleksuh.tumblr.com


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